Yikes! Here are some books I’d recommend for you:

https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Advantage-Positive-Brain-Su...

https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Tra...

https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Be-Disliked-Phenomenon-Happin...

https://www.amazon.com/One-Thing-Surprisingly-Extraordinary-...

This kept reminding me of "Daring Greatly"

http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Tran...

This book addresses a lot of these issues in broader sense, so it applies to all areas of life.

OP -- thank you for having the courage to put your story out here. You've sparked an important conversation, and it's clearly resonated with so many people. There's a lot of advice here. Some conflicting. I trust you'll continue to build your mental filter and sort through the good and the bad.

Two favorite piece I like to re-read when I have these moments.

+ The Secret to Success (this one is my all time favorite): http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2013/5/30/secret-to-succes...

+ Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (http://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Tran...)

I can already see that you have so many of the skills described in Brene Brown's book. Keep fighting the good fight.