Diogenes
Stoicism is popular in a variety of communities on reddit, so I bet its popularity in SV is related
A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy is an easy introduction to Stoicism
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195...
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522...
Its treatment of modern stoicism is uplifting, and I found that the overall philosophy (and even just the practice of having a set of values and philosophy) matched my personal beliefs well and gave me new tools to use.
Overall - Stoicism as it was taught by Epictetus is more about freeing yourself from desire for things and the fear of losing them, and not about giving up all worldly things (that's Asceticism)
I appreciate that the Stoic teachings allow for enjoyment of life and its fruits when that enjoyment is bounded by the good of "community feeling" or love for your common man. If the 80's "greed is good" movement had had a "but try to lift up others and don't be a dick", it may have been a more sustainable culture, and I hope that those of us disrupting things and building new systems figure out how to create societal benefits as well as wealth.
Very easy to read this book and growth mind. There are no abstraction here. Very pragmatics. For those who want to know/understand Stoic. I'm highly recommended.
1) I can kill myself, at any time, if I want to. I'm in control and nobody can take that away. Paradoxically, understanding that made me feel better, because if I know I can do it at any time, why do it now? May as well wait a little while.
2) Make a checklist of essential tasks and get into a habit of doing those things no matter what. Some examples: shower, brush teeth, floss, use mouthwash, clip nails, walk 10k steps, do dishes, make bed etc. Check them off. It doesn't matter what's on the list, but it is important to check off 100% of the items each day. Put every small task you can think of on this list and you'll feel good when you check each of them off.
3) Take a good multivitamin + vitamin D
4) Eat healthier. Fresh steamed spinach and wild salmon always made me feel a little better for whatever reason.
5) Get out of the house! Walk! This is really important.
6) Go to the gym. Aim for at least a couple minutes of sprints per day (I like the rowing machine for this). Sprints are holy time in that suicidal thoughts will completely disappear, if only for those few minutes.
7) Walk through a dangerous part of town. Nothing gets rid of depressive thoughts faster than rising blood pressure and a fast heartbeat.
8) Get rid of as much decision-making as possible in your life. Turn decisions into mechanical rules. e.g. don't think "do i want to brush my teeth today?" You need to brush your teeth in order to cross it off your list.
9) Sleep will naturally improve on its own, over time, if you exercise, move around, and eat healthier, so don't worry if you currently have trouble sleeping.
10) This book is pretty good, but only read after you've eaten healthy, gone outside, and exercised: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195...
What didn't work for me was: thinking about all the people i'd hurt, calling a hotline, any decision-making that wasn't mechanical and required reasoning, insight, or motivation.
If you're suicidal right now, start by putting some shoes on, going outside, and sprinting until you can't breathe anymore. Do this 3 times.
(If you are unfamiliar with Stoicism and would like to learn more, the blog archive at http://modernstoicism.com/ has a lot of content. I also liked William Irvine's "A guide to the good life" (https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195...).
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> Then the book became a best-selling sensation. Brinkmann now lives the life of a successful European public intellectual, appearing on TV and radio and travelling the world to lecture “on the big questions of modern life.”
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I agree with the sentiment of the article. I find it interesting from a meta-analytical perspective, too. As the above quotations demonstrate, even when aware of the sinister, deep nature of the hamster wheel, the author perpetuates their own forebodings. The pattern is being unable to see value or usefulness without highlighting the material end; do we want to stoke the fires to encourage more of the same under a different brand?
There's some reference to the Stoics, aye. That's a good place to start. I'd suggest this book: The Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy (https://www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...)
One of the secrets the Stoics have uncovered, I believe, is to practice will-power so that we can identify and resist craving. Simply saying "stop it", or "re-think the system" undermines the reality that billions upon billions of dollars and our smartest minds are, at this very second, applying our most advanced technologies to further expand this soul-less, insatiable machine which we've created.
[0] https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522...
1. William B. Irvine, "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy", https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195...
This is an introduction to Stoic thought as it applies today by a professor in philosophy, very clearly written. Great for first exposure. It (sensibly) skips some of the more arcane stuff, such as Stoic metaphysics (historically relevant, but really obsolete).
2. Donald Robertson, "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness", https://www.amazon.com/Stoicism-Art-Happiness-Teach-Yourself...
This is a touch more academic and historic on one hand, and very practical and text-book-like on the other hand, in that it has self-assessments, key points, exercises for every section. Excellent second book. The author also has a course, blog and FAQ at http://donaldrobertson.name
3. Epictetus' Enchiridion is available on Project Gutenberg, btw. It's very short, and many things are not really relevant today anymore, yet surprisingly many sections still "speak to us".
4. Note also that Tom Wolfe's huge novel "A Man in Full" is suffused with Stoic themes.
I find Stoicism quite wise, and still substantial enough when you subtract all the obsolete superstition (which cannot be said of, for example, Abrahamic religions). Certainly good for tranquility and empathy. Sometimes hard to translate into positive action, though, I find.
If anyone is interested in a more modern introduction to stoicism A Guide to the Good Life is a worthwhile read: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195...
* Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Antifragile, things that gain from disorder http://www.amazon.com/Antifragile-Things-That-Disorder-Incer...
* Jared Diamond. The World until yesterday, what can we learn from traditional societies http://www.amazon.com/World-Until-Yesterday-Traditional-Soci...
* Frans de Waal. The Bonobo and the Atheist: In Search of Humanism Among the Primates http://www.amazon.com/Bonobo-Atheist-Search-Humanism-Primate...
* John Higgs. The KLF: Chaos, Magic... http://www.amazon.com/KLF-Chaos-Magic-Music-Money-ebook/dp/B...
* Joseph Jaworski. Synchronicity, the inner Path of leadership http://www.amazon.com/Synchronicity-The-Inner-Path-Leadershi...
* Piero Ferrucci. Your Inner Will, finding personal strength in critical times http://www.amazon.com/Your-Inner-Will-Personal-Strength/dp/0...
* William Irvine. A Guide to the good life, the ancient art of stoic joy http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
* Chogyam Trungpa. Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior http://www.amazon.com/Shambhala-Sacred-Warrior-Chogyam-Trung...
* Tomas Malik. Patience with God: The Story of Zacchaeus Continuing In Us http://www.amazon.com/Patience-God-Story-Zacchaeus-Continuin...
* Nick Winter. The Motivation Hacker http://www.amazon.com/Motivation-Hacker-Nick-Winter/dp/09892...
* Chas Emerick, Brian Carper, Christophe Grad. Clojure Programming http://www.amazon.com/Clojure-Programming-Chas-Emerick/dp/14...
Fiction:
* Peter Hamilton - The Reality Dysfunction
* Neal Stephenson - Cryptonomicon (his other hit: Snow Crash is surprisingly more history then SF now...)
[1]: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
[2]: http://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/...
I don't have the right answers for you because I'm in a very similar position, but I can try to relieve parts of your existential anxiety. I used to think how crappy it was when you read on the news that some innocent bystander got shot or a freak accident occurred and someone died and how that could've been me. Ultimately, we should only worry about the things we have complete or partial control over. We are all susceptible to heart attacks, but we can also mitigate its probability through healthy diet and exercise. We are all susceptible to getting shot, but we can also mitigate its probability by choosing where we spend our time.
There will always be things we have no control over, but we should only concern ourselves with the things we do.
I would also recommend checking out "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy"[1] by William B. Irvine. It's been suggested on HN occasionally and it offers a philosophy on death as well as what I mentioned above (letting go of things you don't have control over).
[1] http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0195374614
Had a part about negative visualization where one would contemplate the negative aspects of life as much as the positive as a sort of counterbalance to hedonic adaptation. One would fall into a good life as being the norm and start to become overly negative about inconsequential aspects of it and hope for the next step up where the cycle would repeat. Instead, using this negative visualisation thing, one would contemplate how life would be without a paying job or a family or arms which I suppose leads to positive thoughts about having such things.
The thing most resonates with me in stoicism is the fatalistic outlook. Everything that happens, has already happened and will continue to happen. Eases my anxiety.
The negative visualization described in the book is also a powerful technique. It puts one's petty problems into perspective and actually makes you grateful for things you have.
Overall, I think the central idea of it is the ability to feel joy - something that can be derived from the state of tranquility rather than pleasure of the senses. And of course, to treat other people to the best of your abilities and at the same time acknowledging how flawed beings we are.
Stoic philosophy aside, sleep (cutting back on caffeine), exercise and spending time with family and friends helps me.
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy - William B. Irvine
Not only a description of the Stoic philosophy, which is, unfortunately, not very well known today, but also a great practical guide to a variety of techniques that can be included into daily activities easily, and will increase happiness.
For the body:
http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Gravity-Systematic-Gymnasti...
Overcoming Gravity: A Systematic Approach to Gymnastics and Bodyweight Strength - Steven Low
As I'm growing older (turned 40 last year), I'm no longer inclined to exercise with very heavy weights and was looking into replacing most of the barbell/dumbell exercises in my routine with bodyweight exercise. The book is a great encyclopedia of exercise that can be performed without or with minimal equipment. There are progressions, advice on creating routines, on injury prevention and management and a lot more. There is also a subreddit for those who follow the book http://www.reddit.com/r/overcominggravity
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/019...
Whoever taught you that made a mistake. This is very typical of our generation (yes me included) we all think we can be the president if we just work hard at it. While all our parents heard was: "You know when you work hard you might own a house, with a garden even!"
Happiness is reality minus expectation. (http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-u...)
And you, your expectations are too big. Yes you can change reality but how hard do you have to work to make it match your expectations of greatness? Perhaps you should just learn to be content with what you have, be happy, who knows what comes on your path. Your alternative is facing a high chance of never being happy with yourself and your achievements.
I'm half way through this book: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953... On the advice of the HN crowd. So far I'm liking the message. Try, regularly, to imagine life without the things you hold dear. Try to want the things you already have.
One of the primary ways that stoics find tranquility is by "wanting what you already have" instead of "wanting what you don't have." Easier said than done, so they offer some tools to help, inluding negative visualization (imagining life without things you care about), only worrying about things you have control over, and occasionally denying yourself pleasures.
I'm not doing the subject justice, but here's an easy to read book that condenses a lot of their ideas and applies them to modern life: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953.... And of course Wikipdeia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
is a great summary of Seneca and Aristotle's stoic perspectives. It's not a long book and gives a nice overview of the highlights of stoicism.
I feel like your story about the flood would have fit right in with the theme of the book.
One story from the book concerns Musonious, a stoic who is exiled from his home, deprived of his country, family and friends and ultimately forced to live on a "worthless", barren island. Even through all this he is still is able to find happiness by changing his state of mind about his circumstances.
[1] http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-ebook/dp/B0040...
The internet is a new phenomena that has given individuals unprecedented power to indulge in all forms of media. Instead of arbitrarily obstructing information that they deem to be corrupting, the Icelandic government should recommend their citizens to learn the psychology behind desire and addiction [1], perhaps even Stoic philosophy [2], and how to set up a web filter for their children. They should trust that the adults of their country are generally smart enough to think for themselves and do the right thing; anything less is an insult to their intelligence and is likely to foster a mistrust of their government.
[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKDFsLi2oBk
[2] http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
I really highly recommend it myself. A bit of history of Stoicism, but also a lot of practical advice about how to put it into practice in modern times. (Always going back to the key Stoic thinkers.)
I have some extensive book notes here: http://www.quora.com/Leo-Polovets/Exceptionally-long-book-no...
It is written by a philosopher and its aim is to rehabilitate the Stoics and explain how their philosophy could be useful in modern society. I'd highly suggest reading it (along with the works of actual Stoics as well as pre-Socratic philosophers), particularly to those who like the core message of Zen Buddhism but find it less suited to their way of thinking and difficult to practice.
[1]: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/01953...
I lost both my parents and sister in a car accident, about 20 years ago. I was raised in a close family with good parents, so losing those people was hard for me.
Afterwards got in a depression. I'd guess my depression lasted about 7 years.
One of the main reasons that made this loss so hard for me, was that my goal in life was to make my parents proud. In a way, this was my focus. And with my parents gone, I lost my focus. I needed to find new goals in life.
During my depression, work meant little to me. I didn't try to improve my skills. I preferred losing myself in World of Warcraft. It was a nice way to distract myself from my feelings.
At some point the depression got worse and my brothers & sister intervened. They helped motivate me to visit a psychiatrist. I visited the psychiatrist every week and I agreed to commit myself on a few small tasks each week. Like cleaning the house, exercise, etc... Each week I'd visit him and the tasks would become a bit more time consuming. The psychiatrist also wanted to prescribe me some medicine, but I didn't want to take medicine, so he let that pass.
After a couple of months I felt quite ok again and at some point could manage again to find some work. However, I still kinda missed some long term goal in life.
I don't exactly know how, but at some point I decided I wanted to emigrate. I got sick of the cold, dark winters in The Netherlands. And I was kinda contemplating moving to Chile at some point. Seemed nice enough (low cost of living, decent healthcare, reasonable IT infrastructure, Spanish is supposedly easy to learn, nice weather in the central part of the country, etc...). However, this was just something running through my mind, nothing concrete. Not really sure how to make this big step.
Later on I worked at a start-up of a friend of mine. The start-up didn't perform as well as hoped. After several years I decided to throw in the towel. A headhunter offered me a freelance opportunity at a major Dutch company, so I decided to just go for it. The company decided to take a chance on me and this is how I got into freelancing. With the freelance job, my monthly income tripled and now emigration seemed possible if I saved some money for some years.
To relax a bit (and likely because of my migraines), I would occasionally start visiting a Thai massage parlour. After returning from the parlour I would feel extremely relaxed. I would always visit the same lady and after some time we connected and she would start telling me about her family in Thailand, showing photos and such. And now I got interested in visiting Thailand sometime.
So at some point I decided to go on a holiday to Thailand, just for 2 weeks to see what it's like. At first it was way too hot when I visited Bangkok. But after a few days I could cope better with the weather and would check out Ayuthaya and later Pattaya. There I met my (now) girlfriend, in the last few days of my holiday.
My girlfriend gave me these kinds of vibes that she would be a good mother. So I kinda wanted to visit her again ASAP. I believe I worked just one month from The Netherlands and afterwards made an agreement with the company that I would work remotely from Thailand for a couple of months. The company was ok with this, they gave me a task that I could do in isolation, so the rest of the team would not be impacted. This made it easier to deal with the time difference.
In the meanwhile I also started again on a hobby project of mine while making use of a nice co-working space in Pattaya. I would visit the co-working space every day, meet some people there and work many hours. Would also swim everyday, as the condo I rented had a nice olympic sized swimming pool. I would feel really happy during this time. Perhaps the happiest period of my life.
I do have to admit I didn't do a great job with my freelance work at the time. I believe I should have devoted more time to the freelance job, but I guess it felt more fun to me to work on my own projects. Still, I guess it planted a seed. I could live in some other country and earn my money working remotely as freelancer.
After 6 months or so, we decided we should stay together. So my girlfriend got pregnant. 2 months later I moved back to The Netherlands. I worked a couple more months at my freelance job, but in the meanwhile looked for a permanent remote job. I found a company in New York that wanted to hire me as a freelancer. So with a new freelance job, I quit my current freelance job and moved back to Thailand.
However, now all was not great. It seemed to owner of the NY company and me were not a great match. He kinda needed a developer who could also be a good designer and I am just not a great designer. So pretty soon we decided to separate our ways. Now I was out of a job and in Thailand. At least I still had many savings from freelancing. So I decided to try to find some work on Upwork. Not a great success. After a couple of months trying Upwork, I moved back to The Netherlands and started freelancing again, this time for a fintech company in Amsterdam.
I worked 1.5 years for this company as freelancer. This ensured we could buy a house in Thailand, buy a car. I believe in this 1.5 years I went 2 times on a long holiday to Thailand to visit girlfriend and daughter. I would also call every day from the office (due to time difference).
Then, at some point I decided to try another remote work platform, Codementor. I passed the tests and the interviews and quickly found another US company here to work for. With another freelance job secured, now was the right time to move to Thailand. And basically I've been in Thailand ever since, working from home, but now at a 2nd company (Australian based). I've become much better in remote working then when I first started out. I believe I am much more focused now than I was at the beginning. Perhaps kinda failing the first 2 times was required to teach me how to do better.
But now I also have real goals that I want to strive for:
- I want to make some games.
- I want my daughter to have a happy childhood.
- I don't want to spend 40 hours a week working for some client, if possible (find a good work/life balance).
- Ideally at some point I make some game or app that allows me to full-time work on my own projects.
- In the future I would like to have permanent residency in Thailand (to feel more secure at old age).
- I would like to learn the Thai language, to be able to better communicate with locals.
- I want to save up a good amount of retirement money.
- Would like to have a nice condominium near the beach (we currently live upcountry).
I think it's important to have some long term goals to work towards. Those long term goals make life worth living.
If you don't have any long term goals, perhaps consider doing a sabbatical of sorts - stay a long time in a completely different environment as you are used to. My older brother went to a kibbutz in Israel for half a year when he was depressed. And I guess I went to Thailand to figure myself out. (A kibbutz can be really affordable, since you get a small weekly wage and you get a room for free, but you have to work a bit in return).
Also, it never hurts to try to train a stoic mindset. The book "A Guide to the Good Life - The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" [0] might help here. It might help you deal better with adverse events happening in your life.
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[0]: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/d...