Found in 2 comments on Hacker News
kull · 2018-08-02
· Original
thread
This is what I deal with for years. I make progress but it takes years. What I suggest that I know helped me:
1. Go to gym, get fit it helps with self confidence
2. Read this book https://www.amazon.com/Awkward-Science-Socially-Thats-Awesom...
3. Go to therapy!
4. Don’t rush, don’t push yourself to go to parties etc. small steps, start with going to coffee shops so you are around humans, look in people’s eyes on a sidewalk and smile to them, then gradually start with small talks with barista.
Good luck !
https://www.amazon.com/Awkward-Science-Socially-Thats-Awesom...
even though I felt intensely envious for the author because he got the support from his parents and the people around him that I didn't get.
There are many things I do well. I can pick up the phone and make cold calls like it isn't anything. I can speak extemporaneously about intellectual topics in front of an audience and have no fear.
The form of awkwardness that I still struggle with is that I often do and say offputting things that hurt people's feelings or otherwise alienate them that I struggle to control -- this turns up more with women than men.
For instance I have a hobby of printing "three-sided cards" like
HTTPS://GEN5.INFO/$/YT$Y2U73U5N2PO6JQ/
and before long I had a box of them stuffed in my backpack, gym bag, glove box of my car to show to people and give them away. What I found out is that 100% of women want to see a picture of my wife but I didn't have one in my portable collection.
It seems strange at first because any normal person carries pictures of family in their pockets but when I started printing those cards it was anime characters, art reproductions, information graphics, etc. The first numbered card that had a photograph I took was 0021 and I didn't have a reproducible system for photographs until 0116.
That system is full of design rules and one of them is that I print many copies of the card above, have them coming out of my ears, all of my "wallets" have multiple copies of it. It's not only "protective coloration" that makes me less creepy but it's also a marketing tool for the riding lessons she teaches.