1. Health: I'm no good to myself or my family if I'm not healthy both physically and mentally. If that means going to a gym and getting home later (physical health), hanging out with friends or if you prefer just having an hour of alone time (mental health) do it. Your wife may get upset because you're coming home later, but so be it. If it means you have to pay for childcare, do it.
2. Family. Why is your wife "nagging you"? What are you doing that she is complaining about? On the other hand, are you being unfair to yourself and taking on her burdens that you shouldn't? There is a difference between sharing each other's mutual responsibilities (childcare, finances, household responsibilities, etc.) and holding yourself responsible for someone else's happiness ("why can't you buy me a new car?")
3. Finances. Most of us have to work to eat. Unless you are being beaten everyday, how can a job stress you? You go to work, do the best you can, and come home. The worse that can happen is they fire you. You're a software developer, there are plenty of jobs out there if your skills are current.
Another piece of advice is to save money, keep your skills and your network current.
Saving money gives you a go to hell fund. Save enough that you can tell any company to go to hell (not literally don't burn bridges) and know you will be okay. Keeping your resume updated helps you jump ship faster and not feel stuck to one job.
Two references:
"Boundaries in Marriage".
Yes, he quotes a lot of biblical scriptures but he doesn't say the solution to everything is just "pray about it".I thought the advice was solid and it helped me through some long standing marital difficulties and we got a lot better. I'm not endorsing or not endorsing religion (I'm not opening that can of worms.)
My priorities are:
1. Health: I'm no good to myself or my family if I'm not healthy both physically and mentally. If that means going to a gym and getting home later (physical health), hanging out with friends or if you prefer just having an hour of alone time (mental health) do it. Your wife may get upset because you're coming home later, but so be it. If it means you have to pay for childcare, do it.
2. Family. Why is your wife "nagging you"? What are you doing that she is complaining about? On the other hand, are you being unfair to yourself and taking on her burdens that you shouldn't? There is a difference between sharing each other's mutual responsibilities (childcare, finances, household responsibilities, etc.) and holding yourself responsible for someone else's happiness ("why can't you buy me a new car?")
3. Finances. Most of us have to work to eat. Unless you are being beaten everyday, how can a job stress you? You go to work, do the best you can, and come home. The worse that can happen is they fire you. You're a software developer, there are plenty of jobs out there if your skills are current.
Another piece of advice is to save money, keep your skills and your network current.
Saving money gives you a go to hell fund. Save enough that you can tell any company to go to hell (not literally don't burn bridges) and know you will be okay. Keeping your resume updated helps you jump ship faster and not feel stuck to one job.
Two references:
"Boundaries in Marriage".
Yes, he quotes a lot of biblical scriptures but he doesn't say the solution to everything is just "pray about it".I thought the advice was solid and it helped me through some long standing marital difficulties and we got a lot better. I'm not endorsing or not endorsing religion (I'm not opening that can of worms.)
https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Marriage-Workbook-Henry-Cl...
As far as work. This is my philosphy (contains profanity)
https://youtu.be/-ooy7sfIB8A