Clean Code: A Handbook of Agile Software Craftsmanship  is a great book on writing and reading code.
Similarly, Clean Architecture: A Craftsman's Guide to Software Structure and Design  is, no surprise, a book on organizing and architecting software.
Designing Data-Intensive Applications  may be overkill for your situation, but it's a good read to get an idea about how large scale applications function.
The Architecture of Open Source Applications  is a fantastic free resource that walks through how many applications are built. As another comment mentioned, reading code and understanding how other programs are built are great ways to build your "how to do things" repertoire.
Finally, I'd also recommend taking some classes. I started as a self-taught developer, but I've since taken classes both in-person and online that have been a tremendous help. There are many available for free online, and if in-person classes work better for you (motivation, support, resources, etc), definitely go that route. They're a fantastic way to grow.
Clean Architecture (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0134494164) - Uncle Bob has been talking about this for years, but it's a really good exploration of how to build systems.
Turning the Database Inside Out is a talk that really made Apache Kafka and stream processing click with me. https://www.confluent.io/blog/turning-the-database-inside-ou...
Going through and implementing the Raft algorithm was also very formative for me - it's the first time I really started to grok the challenges with building large scale distributed systems. https://raft.github.io/
And to add a paper to the list to not totally go off topic - Birrell's paper "An Introduction to Programming with Threads" I thought was a very useful read - in part for the historical context, but he also breaks down many fundamental concepts that will look very familiar to the modern reader (it was written nearly 30 years ago).
It's also very readable. https://birrell.org/andrew/papers/035-Threads.pdf
I'm sure the book will have many real world code examples, as is fairly typical of his previous works.
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