I would encourage you to set aside your feelings, and instead consume the data and build your model from there. Observe what people do, not what they say ("revealed preference"). What does the data show us?

I believe I have provided robust citations throughout this thread, and am happy to consider any data you might have refuting those citations; your advice blatantly ignores the data. Certainly, from a dating perspective, hygiene, emotional health, and maximizing social opportunities is important. But you will still arrive at poor outcomes if counterparties are not interested in what you offer (which I address verbosely with links in thread). Expectations are cheap to have, and the cost is borne by the party who must jump through hoops to attempt to meet them.

If aggregate female expectations are beyond what a male population cohort can obtain, what do you expect of those men? They can either grind to meet a standard they will never meet, or opt out and seek their own happiness. Is it wrong to believe someone's expectations are unrealistic? I don't believe so, that is an opinion that can be held. I am happily partnered for over two decades, the advice I give to young men is simple: rapidly ascertain if a potential partner is worth your time and energy, and move on the moment you discover they're not. If you don't want a partner, or the effort is not worth the outcome, opt out and live your best life solo. That is all you can do. ~50% of first marriages fail, and the numbers get worse for second (67%) and third (73%) marriages. Most of this is luck anyway.

(I recommend "Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are" by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz on this topic: https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/...)

> Is this actually useful?

IKR.

Pennebaker thinks so. He's a big proponent of "computational linguistics".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computational_linguistics

I recently read his book Secret Life of Pronouns.

http://secretlifeofpronouns.com

I thought it'd be fun to replicate the book's claims. Like maybe analyze political speeches.

But Pennebaker's current rulesets apparently aren't available. And I didn't have the gumption to figure how to use the tools which are available.

Another book about truthiness is Everybody Lies by Seth Stephens-Davidowitz. https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/...

There's got to be some overlap, right?

There are stats available from porn sites. E.g.:

Now we’re not saying that size matters, but 2018 was an impressively big year for Pornhub and its users. Visits to Pornhub totaled 33.5 billion over the course of 2018, an increase of 5 billion visits over 2017. That equates to a daily average of 92 million visitors and at the time of this writing, Pornhub’s daily visits now exceed 100 million.

2018 saw Pornhub’s average visit duration grow by 14 seconds to 10 minutes and 13 seconds.

https://www.pornhub.com/insights/2018-year-in-review

Relevant: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/jul/09/everybody...

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/...

its publication has caused quite a few folks I know around here to renew their effort to buy local

"Buying local" is the kind of thing everyone is in favor of and no one actually does. Well, okay, not "no one," but far fewer than favor it in theory. Like "giving up Facebook," "switching to Linux" and "always using a condom," the number of people who make the claim in order to signal something about themselves is much smaller than the number actually engaging a behavior.

See further Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are ( https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/... ).