Found 1 comment on HN
pitt1980 · 2013-10-02 · Original thread
that seems to jive well with the article about not talking to your kid in directives:

"In low-income households, parents commonly speak to their children in simple commands, and participant Aneisha Newell said the week on directives was particularly significant to her. “Instead of saying, ‘go put on your shoes,’ I can say, ‘All right, it’s time to go. What else do you need? … That gives my child the chance to respond, and say, ‘shoes,’ ” said Newell, 25, who has a 4-year-old daughter and a 10-month-old son and works for a company providing recess supervision and after-school activities in Chicago Public Schools.

Newell said many of her friends and relatives think she’s crazy for talking to her daughter as if she’s an adult. “I can quote this: ‘Neisha, no one wants to sit and talk to the kids like they understand’ That’s basically the response I get."

(I hate that such a thought provoking article couldn't get a better discussion than a college freshman debate over nature v nurture)

in my experience that's one of the best take aways from the articles,

I find even really educated parents tend to give alot of commands to their kids, I would recommend mixing that up

my daughter just entered the 'why' stage,

the other day, I flipped it around and for 10 or so minutes, even thing she would ask say, I would ask her 'why?'

it was really facinating

I think it ended with:

"because I am a big girl"

"why"

"because I pee on the potty"

"ha ha, yeah I guess so"

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second thought

I've often heard that learning a second language forces you to relearn the basics of the english language

similarly, I think that putting thought in how to comminicate with little kids forces you how to relearn communication skills with all people

book recommendation: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/038057000...

one of the big take aways from that book was not to invalidate your kids feelings, even if it seems silly or stupid to you

I find that to be a really useful comminication tip with adults too

and one the most people don't do a very good job with

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