Found in 16 comments
by Jemmeh
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie - It's a classic in that genre.

Charisma on Command channel for social skills.

Personally I also really like a lot of the talks from Tony Robbins when it comes to emotional intelligence and personal psychology. I listen to them on youtube while I'm cleaning fairly often. He can be a bit over the top and rambly for some people though and I do disagree with some things. But it's a good starting point on what to think about.

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by tobyjsullivan
> This doesn't address the problem of how to deal with someone who doesn't WANT to correct their worldview.

I found the article went to great lengths to explain why someone might not want to correct their world view. It then proceeded to give some examples of how you might work around that (avoid tribalism, change your own attitude, demonstrate that you're invested in/impacted by the question at hand). Empathy for the other person seems to be the general approach.

I found How to Win Friends and Influence People to be a good read for more examples.

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by swalsh
I would second this point, and add these skills can be learned. Here's a great book:
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by chaostheory
How to Win Friends & Influence People

This is a classic book that you can finish in one night. If you don't like reading there's an audiobook version as well. It's also recommended by pg and yc

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by swalsh
Whatever you feel about the article, Let me recommend this book to ALL engineers. The title is kind of bad, but the book has made me a much better team lead.

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by kabouseng
Well I don't have a MBA :D, but I do have a masters degree of a similar orientation (Masters in engineering management). I can only recommend the ones I have read and found of value:

[1] Crossing the chasm (Marketing related)

[2] Peopleware (HR related)

[3] How to win friends and influence people (HR related)

[4] The Goal (Business related)

[5] Critical chain (Project management related)

[6] Who moved my cheese (Change management related)

and any of the lean / agile businessy books for ex.

[7] The lean startup

These might not be viewed as traditional MBA material, but my course featured some of these along with more traditional academic books on subjects like financial management, people management, operations etc. I can provide these textbooks to you as well if you like.

*Amazon links just for convenience, no affiliation.








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by solusglobus
Read the book by Dale Carnegie ( Joining events on can be helpful too.
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by mbesto
These are great books for starting off with the why and how of sales:

Daniel Pink - To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others

Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends & Influence People

As you understand the macro details of sales, the more micro things (tactics, strategies, best practices) are probably best served by specific industry or specific aspects of sales. For example:

I also really like Jason Lemkin and his SaaStr blog: Loads of SaaS sales practices on there.

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by NumberCruncher
As Dale Carnegie said:

"Even in such technical lines as engineering, about 15% of one's [financial] success is due one's technical knowledge and about 85% is due to skill in human engineering, to personality and the ability to lead people."

In this sense a few books about mastering that 85%:

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by cpursley
I'm not sure about your specific situation, but it helps if you focus the conversations on them instead of you.

Be genuinely interested in other people and they will like you. Respect their opinions even if you disagree.

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by humanrobot
Your are in a great position. You have a stable source of income and a prestigious job title for the modern times.

You already kind of seem to know the solution: Work on your social skills.

Read this

Sign up for internet dating and go on dates with strangers. You will soon discover everyone is awkward and it is all okay.

Or go to tech meetups. Ask people about themselves and just listen to what people have to say. People love to talk about themselves and you can learn a lot about them and yourself.

It will be hard It will be awkward It will feel really strange at first

But being really good at connecting with other people is vital to getting the jobs you want. Having hard skills is important too, but you seem to already have those.

Good luck.

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by gfaqz
I just read this book a few months ago, It was fantastic. After No More Mr. Nice Guy I highly recommend Models and How to win friends and influence people is a great self help book too

I've read these three books (Nice Guy then Friends and then Models) over the past few months and they have really taught me how to build up my confidence.

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by pkhamre
You are only a loser if you think so yourself, but don't worry. You are a winner! Like stated out, it comes out clear that you have a great set of professional experiences so getting yourself a decent job should not be a problem in my opinion.

I recently started reading How to win friends and influence people[1], by Dale Carnegie and already after 4 chapters it has changed how I think about how I interact with people. Get yourself a copy of this book and read it.


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by pvnick
Mark Manson has written a lot of really valuable advice, including IMO the only dating book you should ever read [1]. He rejects the pickup culture in favor of a more intimate, human approach towards building emotional connections and improving oneself. He's the only mainstream dating coach pushing Dale Carnegie's work [2]. Mark's also big on the anti-pornography, anti-masturbation trend that's gaining mainstream attention [3]. I highly recommend reading his stuff for anybody who's looking to improve themselves, both in dating and in general.




Edit: it looks like this was on the front page, but the HN is only for programming topics crowd seems to have flagged it into oblivion

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by pkhamre
The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business -

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living -

How to Win Friends & Influence People -

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by seanlinehan
About a year ago I starting becoming incredibly interested in making ideas spread. I decided to read books on how to present myself and my ideas in a way that builds my own credibility, trustworthiness, and helps people to take on my ideas.

If you are interested in these things, I highly recommend Made to Stick by the Heath Brothers [1]. It focuses on the SUCCESs framework:

S - Short

U - Unexpected

C - Credible

C - Concrete

E - Emotional

S - Stories

They elaborate in excellent detail on each of these ideas and the acronym that they coined is a perfect example.

In terms of building your own credibility, I suggest reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. [2] This book is instrumental in understanding the basic concepts that can have a material impact on your life. I think that Autobiography of Ben Franklin [3] teaches a few key lessons in the use of diffidence that harmonizes well with Carnegie's ideas.




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