I've read similar stuff. It sucks since it seems there's no way out. Introduction to Internal Family Systems was very illuminating regarding this topic:

https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Guilf...

First two chapters:

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5205b3d1e4b08b89e5d18...

More to your question, have you looked into Internal Family Systems Therapy? I'm currently reading a book on this by Schwartz, and I'm finding it helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Guilfo...