"Even as I sit here and look at what happened with this today I am torn between actually using the donations to pay off our housing and transportation debts along with my final resting place or just giving the money to someone else who needs it more than I do."
Yes, you should be.
If you are really in a dire situation maybe you should look into getting money from the government by participating in research and stuff like that. That's what I would do if I were in your situation.
Hope your last time on this planet is good. This is a process everyone will have to experience eventually I'm afraid. No matter if you are young or old. Crazy thing is that everything will just keep moving on, your kids will grow up, maybe have kids of their own and eventually, in a long time, themselves face the same situation. It's an endless cycle these lives. Even if we can't recognize that because we're stuck in the middle of it trying to make money for our future or something else we aren't sure about.
This is a really good book by the way. Helped me get through the hard times. Although im not sure the english translation is that good.
Good luck. Hope your funding goes well and that it will make you happy.
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