I think it takes a super pragmatic (maybe to the point of being un-romantic) approach to dating and finding a partner, including many "litmus tests" of sorts. I know at least one person who has written a "relationship design document" (classic PM move) outlining what matters to them in a relationship, citing sources like this as well as lived experience.
I also enjoyed reading Esther Perel's "Mating in Captivity": https://amzn.to/3lho4gP, which discusses the tension between eroticism and stability (what it takes to get into a relationship vs what it takes to stay in a relationship).
I do agree with the premise that "humans are flawed and you'll be accepting that both you and your partner are human" as well as "you will need to invest in your relationship to make it work".
- https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html
- https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner-part-2.html
And the follow-up of sorts, "The Marriage Decision: Everything Forever or Nothing Ever Again"
- https://waitbutwhy.com/2016/09/marriage-decision.html
I think it takes a super pragmatic (maybe to the point of being un-romantic) approach to dating and finding a partner, including many "litmus tests" of sorts. I know at least one person who has written a "relationship design document" (classic PM move) outlining what matters to them in a relationship, citing sources like this as well as lived experience.
I also enjoyed reading Esther Perel's "Mating in Captivity": https://amzn.to/3lho4gP, which discusses the tension between eroticism and stability (what it takes to get into a relationship vs what it takes to stay in a relationship).
I do agree with the premise that "humans are flawed and you'll be accepting that both you and your partner are human" as well as "you will need to invest in your relationship to make it work".