ISBN: 9781614670537
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mudil · 2014-01-11 · Original thread
On the differences between sexes (from Sex Money Kiss by Gene Simmons

The Perfect Day for HER!

8:15 a.m. Wake up to hugs & kisses 8:30 a.m. Weight in five pounds lighter than yesterday 8:45 a.m. Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants. Open presents: expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner 9:15 a.m. Soothing hot bath with grangipani bath oil. 10:00 a.m. Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer. 10:30 a.m. Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out. 12:00 a.m. Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe. 12:45 p.m. Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.. 1:00 p.m. Shopping with friends. 3:00 p.m. Nap. 4:00 p.m. A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer. 4:15 p.m. Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage 5:30 p.m. Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror. 7:30 p.m. Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing. 10:00 p.m. Hot shower. Alone. 10:30 p.m. Make love. 11:00 p.m. Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling. 11:15 p.m. Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

The Perfect Day for HIM!

6:00 a.m. Alarm. 6:15 a.m. Blow-job. 6:30 a.m. Massive dump while reading the sports section. 7:00 a.m. Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee. 7:30 a.m. Limo arrives. 7:45 a.m. Bloody Mary en route to airport. 8:15 a.m. Private jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9:30 a.m. Limo to Augusta National Golf Club. 9:45 a.m. Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par. 11:45 a.m. Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens. 12:15 p.m. Blow-job. 12:30 p.m. Play back nine holes of golf course, four under 2:15 p.m. Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis. 2:30 p.m. Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap. 3:15 p.m. Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew, all nude, who frequently bend over a lot displaying growlers. 4:30 p.m. Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs. 5:00 p.m. Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel (bending over naturally) 7:00 p.m. Watch CNN Newsflash. Bush resigns. Porn Legalized. 7:30 p.m. Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip. For dessert: ice cream served on a big pair of tits. 9:00 p.m. Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar. 10:00 p.m. Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks cleansing ale. 11:00 p.m. Sex with 3 women, all with lesbian tendencies ... some bending over. 11:30 p.m. Nightcap Blow-job. 11:45 p.m. Go to bed alone. 11:50 p.m. A twenty two second fart that changes notes four times & forces dog to leave the room.

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