The Perfect Day for HER!
8:15 a.m. Wake up to hugs & kisses
8:30 a.m. Weight in five pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 a.m. Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants. Open presents: expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 a.m. Soothing hot bath with grangipani bath oil.
10:00 a.m. Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 a.m. Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 a.m. Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45 p.m. Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs..
1:00 p.m. Shopping with friends.
3:00 p.m. Nap.
4:00 p.m. A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 p.m. Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage
5:30 p.m. Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30 p.m. Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00 p.m. Hot shower. Alone.
10:30 p.m. Make love.
11:00 p.m. Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 p.m. Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
The Perfect Day for HIM!
6:00 a.m. Alarm.
6:15 a.m. Blow-job.
6:30 a.m. Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 a.m. Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 a.m. Limo arrives.
7:45 a.m. Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 a.m. Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 a.m. Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 a.m. Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 a.m. Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15 p.m. Blow-job.
12:30 p.m. Play back nine holes of golf course, four under
2:15 p.m. Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 p.m. Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15 p.m. Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew, all nude, who frequently bend over a lot displaying growlers.
4:30 p.m. Catch world record light tackle marlin-1249 lbs.
5:00 p.m. Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel (bending over naturally)
7:00 p.m. Watch CNN Newsflash. Bush resigns. Porn Legalized.
7:30 p.m. Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz. New York strip. For dessert: ice cream served on a big pair of tits.
9:00 p.m. Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 p.m. Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks cleansing ale.
11:00 p.m. Sex with 3 women, all with lesbian tendencies ... some bending over.
11:30 p.m. Nightcap Blow-job.
11:45 p.m. Go to bed alone.
11:50 p.m. A twenty two second fart that changes notes four times & forces dog to leave the room.