https://www.amazon.com/Better-Angels-Our-Nature-Violence/dp/...

And yes, really.

> we see the use of actual force happen more and more. Why?

False premise; this is the opposite of what we see. https://www.amazon.com/Better-Angels-Our-Nature-Violence/dp/...

You can only make people stop fighting by (a) killing them; or (b) convincing them that fighting you is a mistake. There are no other ways.

Don't confuse a local maxima with a global minima. On the whole, across centuries, violence is in decline. Pinker wrote an entire book on this[0]

[0]http://www.amazon.com/Better-Angels-Our-Nature-Violence/dp/0...