Found in 5 comments on Hacker News
thisisit · 2018-11-21 · Original thread
I was in your place and slowly getting better where people actually say that they like interacting and talking with me. What really helped?

1. Meditation and specific one at that called - metta meditation. Most of the time issues lies with the fact that we as introverts feel unfulfilled and think something is wrong with us.

But, there is nothing wrong with us. This meditation helps with that and makes you realize that you are fine as they way you are.

2. Tiny habits:

One of the biggest problem for me was that I would wake up one day and barrel ahead trying to be another person. But the problem is you cannot change in a day. So, you try and try and eventually give up.

Then I read about BJ Fogg's research:

And I took another route to thins. I wake up every day and take one thing and only one thing I want to do.

Let's say "small talk". Then I think of a person I can try this on. So, I set an intention to "small talk" once I meet this person. And because I am aware of this intention I tend to see how they react. Most of the time it's pleasant surprise which makes me feel good and helps reinforce the habit.

3. The mandatory book:

It has lots of techniques. So, take it slow. It can take sometime before you see the changes.

eartheaterrr · 2018-09-09 · Original thread
This is a great comment. I live in Seattle, and I think the Seattle Freeze is largely a tragedy of groupthink. If you want to break out, there are a ton of opportunities to learn about this city and meet interesting people. Here are a couple networks that might help someone get started:

Getting out of my loneliness was a struggle at first, but after putting in some effort, I now have a great friendships that will last a lifetime. Not only do I feel comfortable meeting new people, but I really enjoy the process as well. Here are some books that have helped me break out of my "freeze" depression:

YMMV, but putting in the effort to understand and connect with new personalities has greatly improved my life.

bluker · 2016-01-27 · Original thread
haha exactly

in case anyone is interested in doing just that,

danmaz74 · 2015-08-02 · Original thread
My two go-to books on the subject, very complementary to each other, are:

- The charisma myth:

- Make your contacts count:

3 simple tricks to be more charismatic. Are you ready?

Step 1. Breathe in and breathe out before you speak. The pause makes you more composed. Plus the speaker will think you are a good listener.

Step 2. Don't nod you head more than once per sentence when listening to other people. Too much head movement reflects insecurity and immaturity.

Step 3. Don't rise your inflection at the end of a sentence. Makes you sound like an insecure valley girl.


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