On this topic, Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld wrote the book I wish I had read before our daughter was born: Hold Onto Your Kids [1]. Thesis: Strong attachment to a parent or caretaker is foundational for human development - neurological, physiological, and psychological - the whole body, mind, and spirit. The impacts of years 0-5 cannot be overstated. Based on the findings presented in the book, if both parents want to work my suggestion would be to either hire a full-time nanny who will replace you as the attachment figure for those years and beyond, or have a family member move in with you and care for the child full-time. Be comfortable that your child will be more attached to this person, and love them at least a little bit more, than they love you. Be happy that your child will have their best shot at healthy development because you prioritized it for them.

Another great book that covers more of the science in depth is The Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel [2].

Sounds extreme? Read the books (and others) yourself and see what conclusions you reach.

[1] https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Your-Kids-Parents-Matter/dp/0375... [2] https://www.amazon.com/Developing-Mind-Third-Relationships-I...