I became a father the first time when I was 20. The second time when I was 30. So based on my sample size of 2 and after some trial and error error error and debugging:
- Understand that outspoken and non-outspoken family rules must suit the situation, be flexible, based on empathy and revisited when situations change. A.k.a. you get wiser, your kids gets older or when sh#it happens. I recommend the approach from Virginia Satir https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/08... the inventor of familiy therapy
- If you want to be good enough parents, go on vacations (at least weekends) without your kids - from time to time, at least every half year. Your adult couple relationship is the RAM your adult parent-family-relationship needs to function. If your RAM runs out, then there is a high risk of a crash.
- Learn how to think, talk and act with empathy. To your kids, yourself and your partner. I use the Non Violent Communication Framework by Rosenberg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication
- Understand that outspoken and non-outspoken family rules must suit the situation, be flexible, based on empathy and revisited when situations change. A.k.a. you get wiser, your kids gets older or when sh#it happens. I recommend the approach from Virginia Satir https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/08... the inventor of familiy therapy
- If you want to be good enough parents, go on vacations (at least weekends) without your kids - from time to time, at least every half year. Your adult couple relationship is the RAM your adult parent-family-relationship needs to function. If your RAM runs out, then there is a high risk of a crash.
Note: Totally subjective nerd thoughts.