When you're put in a management position its usually because you're good at doing something. Good do-ers tend to want to do everything themselves because they know best, but when you're in management that can cripple you. This book will prevent you from making all sorts of mistakes right off the bat.
http://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-Manager-Meets-Monkey/dp/068...
Are the ones dragging you to late meetings shareholders? Or maybe they work on commission? Or perhaps there's a big bonus waiting for them but not for you ? Find out whether money is the problem or not, it's easier to find the solution once you understand others' motivations.
I'm guessing you're more of a generalist than a specialist in one field and that's partially why you see things the way business would like "tech" to see. It's actually a good thing and helps you build better software. In the worst case just change job one more time, sometimes it takes longer than one or two switches to find the right place. Good luck!