Found in 2 comments on Hacker News
fosco · 2018-08-29 · Original thread
I was in similar boat. I was not really around kids most of my life and making the jump was pretty difficult including the enormous new responsibility.

read a number of books mostly full of things that are common sense just worded differently.

the two most helpful things in hindsight so far (only 11 months in :-)) were the following a book around sleep [0] which is fairly short but can be shortened to a single excel spread sheet (which my wife and I did). the books seemed useless until we met others who had major challenges getting their child to sleep through the night, either we were super lucky or this book was amazing. ask me in a year after our second and I'll let you know if it was luck or not.

and then being told that once the kid comes out thousands of years of evolution magically hit you in the back of the head. this surprisingly was completely true (although I still do not know how)

lastly, none of my friends that live close have kids yet and some relationships have gotten weaker while others stronger. I think some of my friends are keeping distance for 'reasons' which is frustrating because losing touch with a good friend was not an expected result after having a kid.

[0] https://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525...

zer00eyz · 2015-07-22 · Original thread
First of all congrats!

We are missing some facts here that would help give guidance.

What does mom do now, does she plan on doing after baby is born?

You haven't mentioned your role at the startup, how many folks are involved or working with/for you, and when you think you are going to launch, and in what general sector (b2b, SAS be vague but give us some clues)

There is one more key factor, and thats do you have other family near by you... this can be a blessing and a curse, but help is help and take it where you can get it.

General parenting stuff:

Im sure you know other folks who have kids, you need to start asking them about the things they learned that could have made the process easier. Your going to hear lots of stuff take it all to heart and listen its going to sound a lot like...

Tips like making the bed with a mattress protector, a sheet, another mattress protector, another sheet, another mattress protector... cause at 3am you don't want to have to re-make bed due to an accident, and pulling off the wet sheets lets you go back to sleep quickly.

Learn to nap now your going to need them

Buy this, follow its advice http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/05259...

sleep will make or break you, sleep will be the thing you long for.

Find out how to cook things that are fast, easy, healthy and don't destroy the kitchen.

Realize that any aversion you have to bodily fluids are going to disappear quickly, as a parent pretty much nothing grosses me out any more.

Plan on having at least 3 months after birth where your a total MESS. You might have good days in there but don't count on having them or being able to plan them.

Bottle feeding has advantages, one of you can get a good nights sleep every now and again. Also feeding time is reading time, I learned more bottle feeding my kids then I have since.

Find playgroups and peer groups early. This is mostly going to be you walking your kids around with other parents in the early days, but other moms and dads with the same tired expressions, strollers and diaper bags are a good reminder that you aren't alone!

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