On paper, the interview went great and I had no problems with the whiteboard questions or any of the other questions. However, his body language was clearly not vibing with mine. He may have felt I came off too aggressive and overconfident. For the record, I did not think it was confrontational, in fact the conversation itself was pretty easy going and fun as far as technical interviews go.
I've been thinking about it and trying to come up with a way of calibrating my body language in the moment to make the other person more at ease. If anyone has any suggestions on reading, I'd love to hear them. I've read that FBI agent's book [1] since then and found it a little bit helpful, but nothing earthshattering. The author is more concerned with cracking/breaking people than making them comfortable.
[1] http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d...
Navarro wrote a book called "What Every Body is Saying".[0] In it he identifies a number of universal body language patterns and sets out guides for interpreting what they mean based on context.
[0] http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d...
The author's approach is that you must observe a "baseline" of what is normal behavior for an individual in order to accurately read body language. He suggests looking for deviations from normal behavior along with clusters.
http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d...
Concerning the body language tips the article recomends, I think everyone except arms crossed behind head is covered for in the book. Arm akimbo, crossed legs, etc.
As a personal tip, I'd give the thumbs up. No, like actually stretch your thumbs out when you walk around or talk to people, and leave them out of your pockets. It's ok to put the rest of the hand in, but the thumbs stay out.
Ahh, and if you're arguing, even if you want to, don't start undressing yourself, no matter how angry you are. 2 people arguing and taking jackets and shirts off usually means business you don't want to be part of neccesairily.
There is a great book about body language called What Every Body is Saying by an ex-FBI agent. Excellent read and be forewarned that you'll start seeing other people in a very different light. Heck, it will make you think twice about what and how you say things. On Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d... .
This article reminds me of a book I read a few years ago, Joe Navarro's "What Every Body Is Saying" [1]. If you're in the business of working with people more than programs, this book might be useful, but even if not, a lot of it was a good intellectual curiosity. There were plenty of things that I got to try noticing and playing with on my own body; for instance, how I hold my hands in any given situation (palms out? palms in?) is a good indicator of how comfortable I am, and it's an interesting experiment to "force" myself to place my hands somewhere other than where they naturally lie, and just lightly observe how it makes me more or less comfortable. (If you're bored in a meeting, I highly recommend giving it a try.)
Thanks for this link.
[1] http://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/d...