I hate to be this negative, but the parenting threads on Hacker News have been almost uniformly useless to me. The one comment that stood out was: "Most of the advice you hear will work for everyone else's kids, but not yours".

Only you are the expert on your life. Reading other peoples' anecdotes is fun, but at the end of the day not often very helpful.

The one piece of advice I would give is to read this book:

http://www.amazon.com/When-Partners-Become-Parents-Couples/d...

It's an account of a study that looked at enough couples for actual trends to emerge. My wife and I found it incredibly useful.